10 Thoughts I Had While Working Out Earlier

10 Thoughts I Had While Working Out Earlier

• Ooh, when in doubt, post a listicle. I hate having to post when I’m not feeling creative at all, but I’m also doing the #365DayChallenge and I absolutely cannot break streak.

• I worked out for thirty whole minutes, why don’t I look like Chloe Ting yet? This Tingy isn’t working for me.

• Did it not occur to anybody else that the body positivity movement has been hijacked by people with unhealthy habits and who happen to be so obese that they think that’s the new normal? Or is it just me that thinks being morbidly is not okay and it shouldn’t be enabled?

• I need new gym shorts. I need new gym tights. I need thirty billion new sports bras in Pantone universe’s color of the year.

• Ooh, I’m going to eat some grilled cheese on Sunday. Why can’t Sunday come soon?

• I’m totally going bald because of excessive scalp sweat. That’s TMI, but we’re gonna roll with it.

• Zachary Levi is super cute. I cannot stop thinking about the fact that ADAM BRODY And OMG, Ross Butler from Riverdale had cameo roles in Shazam! Who else is obsessed with the movie?

• Speaking of movies, I wonder how many people have adopted Corgis after watching The Queen’s Corgi. I so want one.

• How often are you supposed to change your yoga mat?

• It’s been forever and I still don’t have the “11” shaped abs. I’m gonna go home and eat a whole tub of ice cream and regret for the rest of the night.

How to: Stay Civil with The Ex

How to: Stay Civil with The Ex

Most of us tend to have a lot of bitterness towards people that we no longer have a relationship with, the reasons often being:

• cheating issues

• trust issues

• money issues

• no closure

• all of the above.

There are friends of mine that have such bad memories with their exes, it’s hard to not be hostile. But then again, in a world that’s so twisted, rotten and divided, the least you could do is stay civil with the people you once loved. Here’s how:

• Forgiveness.

I’m not saying you need to go and become best friends with them: all I’m saying is you could be neutral and nice and not harbor murderous intentions towards them. No matter how difficult it is, the first step here would be to figure out a way to forgive them, if they’ve wronged you. Forgive yourself, if you’ve wronged them, and try not to repeat your mistakes. Life’s fair if you just let it be. Not to sound like a preachy moron, but it’s true.

• Closure.

Most past relationships often sour because there’s rarely ever any sort of closure. If you’ve decided to part ways, talk about it and do so. If you can’t talk about it immediately, give yourself and your ex space to heal, and then give each other closure. That’s how you end chapters. Clean. Messy endings are hella unsavory.

• Don’t badmouth them in front of your next.

This is where many of us make mistakes. Your new partner doesn’t need to hear you saying mean crap about your ex. Not only do they lose respect, you end up being bitter than ever.

• No rebounds.

This is the worst idea ever. You get into a relationship with someone new even when you don’t love them, and you’re constantly thinking of your ex and stalking them, and at some point there’s going to be this huge ugliness inside of you that won’t go away.

• Be friendly.

If you run into your ex, try to think of the positives. Be friendly if they say hey, but at the same time don’t let them back into your life unless you want to get back together.

Do you have a civil relationship with your ex? Or is it way more bitter than bitter coffee?

Medical Monday: Five Reasons Why You Should Sleep More

Medical Monday: Five Reasons Why You Should Sleep More

Much as I love to leave my readers hanging, I don’t recommend leaving your sleep duration unfinished. Everyone and their grandmas seem to have an issue with not getting enough sleep. As if Googling wasn’t enough, here are five legit reasons why you need to sleep more.

• You’ll be a lot less stressed out.

When you sleep very little, your cortisol levels are screwed. And you’ll be stressed, which you can actually prevent by getting more sleep. If you simply cannot sleep, or if you have insomnia, quit caffeine cold turkey and take Indian ginseng or Ashwagandha. I’ve talked about this a lot, and it is a natural adaptogen – which means it’ll adjust your stress hormones.

• Bye bye, dark circles.

Most people overlook the fact that one sure shot way to get rid of Master Shifu eyes is by getting a good night’s sleep every night. That, and some hydration.

Weight loss.

The hormones leptin and ghrelin, which essentially regulate appetite, have been found to be disrupted by lack of sleep. If you wish to maintain or lose weight, get seven hours of sleep. Also, when you’re catching some zzz’s, you won’t be getting the munchies and no stubborn fat will ever stick to your thighs and your hips and your butt. Yay.

Chase away the blues.

Sleep impacts the ratio and production of a lot of chemicals in your body, including serotonin. People with serotonin deficiencies are more prone to depression. Eat a banana everyday, because it helps regulate serotonin levels in the body, and get a good amount of sleep. You’ll be happier.

Boost your creativity.

A bunch of studies concluded that a good night’s sleep helps to consolidate memories, boosting your and making your memory stronger. Your cognitive function improves as you sleep sleep better, which may result in more creativity as well. So if you have one of those dry creative spells, try getting more sleep.

And guess what? All of the above pointers have actually worked for me.

I have a question for you guys: How many hours of sleep do you get each night, and do you think it’s enough?

Medical Monday: Ten Things Nobody Tells You About Depression

Medical Monday: Ten Things Nobody Tells You About Depression

I did a bit of a Q and A on my Instagram on Friday, and the results were appalling. Not only are people unaware of so much, they also choose to be driven by bigotry and they won’t change their mindsets. It’s 2019, folks, come on now.

If we can’t talk about mental health openly, NOW, when will we ever? Here are ten facts, from personal experience, that nobody tells you about mental health – specifically about depression.

• It can affect anyone.

Just because someone looks buff and strong and seems to be the epitome of badassery, doesn’t mean they’re not susceptible. Take it from someone who’s been there, seen people and experienced it all, first hand.

I know people that are doing great helping others, serving the community and are amazing – but they have been secretly depressed since forever. And the only thing they find solace in? Their jobs.

It never affects you on the daily, if you stay focused enough.

A genius (insert lethal dosage of sarcasm here) once told me that you can’t be a practicing doctor with depression and anxiety but that’s completely a myth. You can work wherever you like, and you can do whatever you want to do. As long as your depression is under control, and you’re doing something about it, you’re good to go. Just like everyone else you know.

Which brings me to point number three.

• Don’t be afraid to seek help.

If you’re feeling low, and anxious, and if you feel like you’re forgetting how to be happy, and you tell someone about it and you suspect you have depression – GET IT EVALUATED.

Prevention is always better than cure. Which is why, a trip to the counselor’s or therapist’s just to see what’s happening, isn’t going to hurt. If you’re not clinically diagnosed, and if you’re declared as not having any mental health issues, it’s such a relief too, right? Why would you want to waste time debating when you could actually go get a consult?

• Google isn’t your therapist. Google isn’t most certainly qualified to be your doctor.

There are people that go to med school, slog for about a decade and study the subject closely. Google never went to med school and Google never took semester exams – and that is precisely why you need to stop Googling your symptoms.

Depression can creep up on you when you’re not even suspecting it.

There’s a thing called seasonal affective disorder and it actually is a real thing. It’s seasonal, obviously, and is seen in a lot of adults. Abbreviated SAD, it’s precisely what it says it is – it makes you hella sad, and you won’t know what’s wrong with you.

It’s not something you can control, as you can never tell yourself to just snap out of it because that’s not how this guy works. When he drops in, he takes his sweet time. Or she.

• It’s accumulative.

One specific thing won’t cause it. It has to be a series of events. Lemony Snicket would know. So here’s what happens: something plus something again. Plus something more. Plus something else. And a million somethings. All add up. And then boom, you wake up with a stranger in your heart, you feel zapped and you don’t know why. And you don’t know why, because it’s not just one little or one specific thing.

• Yoga and meditation don’t actually help cure it, but can definitely help keep it from blowing up.

Both these things are specifically designed to calm the human mind, body and senses. Letting your feelings stay in a confined spot and letting your emotions not take over your body so bad that you’re on total autopilot, actually does help.

• Do not ASK to start medication till your doctor thinks it’s fit to.

I don’t believe in medication. I’m one of those people that believe in not resorting to last resorts. Which is why I always recommend talking about your feelings to your therapist. There’s a lot a conversation – a heart to heart conversation – can do. When you’re with your therapist, you’re interacting with another human being (in total confidentiality) one on one. The power of human interaction that’s not all about cellphones and Internet, is incredible.

Sweeping problems under the rug isn’t going to help at all.

Let’s say you have some issues and you’ve been paying zero attention to the problem and only been ignoring it because you’re sure you’ll forget about it and it won’t come back – think again. It’ll creep up on you. If you suspect you have it, talk to someone.

There’s no taboo. Nor is there glorification.

I got a direct message from a person who seemed to think that I was glorifying and also stigmatizing mental health problems by talking about in the first place. And it was so offensive to me because people are aware of so little. Why would someone glorify it when they’ve been through it, anyway?

And there’s supposed to be no stigma surrounding it either. It’s a growing problem that’ll just accumulate, like I explained earlier.

Footnote:

This same person expressed concern about people not having the time or resources to go to a doctor and using google as their only option.

Now, if someone has access to Google, they should be well aware of the fact that Government setups (in India, at least) exist for the sole purpose of catering to people and their healthcare needs at a very nominal cost. OPDs won’t charge you any money if you can’t afford it. No doctor is here to extort you, contrary to what you might think.

Speaking of having no time – I wonder what’s more important than your own health? Be it mental or otherwise?

Medical Monday: YOUR Myths, Debunked

Medical Monday: YOUR Myths, Debunked

People usually have a lot of medical myths that they’ve grown up following blindly. So I asked people on Instagram about this. And I picked six myths that seemed to be getting repeats.

• If you have hypothyroidism, you need to refrain from eating cabbage and also, soybean oil.

True.

Here’s why:

Thiocyanates, a sulfur-containing compound, make it difficult for the thyroid gland to absorb iodine and their effect can only be reduced when diet is supplemented with iodine. Vegetables like kale, radishes, sweet potato, canola, Brussels sprouts, and some cruciferous ones like cabbage, cauliflower and broccoli contain thiocyanates. Do the math.

Soy flavonoids, or soy isoflavones, restrict the enzymes needed to release iodine into the thyroid hormone. Studies have associated infants that were fed soy formula, with a higher risk of hypothyroidism and for later development of autoimmune thyroid diseases. Soy foods like as soybean oil, soy milk, tofu and other processed soy foods can decrease your thyroid function.

• Chewing gum takes seven years to pass through.

False.

Chewing gum base is indigestible and doesn’t stay in your body, yes, but it doesn’t stay in your body for that long. It passes through a couple days later. If you happen to get diarrhea from your chewing gum, check if it has sweeteners or claim to be natural. Some artificial sweeteners give you diarrhea because products like erythritol, a sugar alcohol, cause digestive issues when consumed in large amounts.

So how did this myth originate? Probably because concerned parents were afraid of choking hazards and gastrointestinal blockage and thought of ways to scare kids into refraining from chewing too much gum.

• Drinking milk after/ with fish or chicken, jackfruit, bitter gourd gives you diarrhea.

False.Taking chicken/fish before or with milk is said to cause vitiligo (leucoderma) which is primarily a condition caused due to melanin deficiency. The ‘white spots’ are caused when melanocytes stop functioning or die. Melanocytes are the cells in our skin, responsible for producing the pigment melanin, which in turn gives our skin its color. Scientists have been working to find the cause behind the condition and one of the most common reasons cited for the condition is said to be an auto-immune disorder in the person who is affected. Until now, no scientific evidence has traced links between the white spots and having milk after chicken.

Same goes for bitter gourd and jackfruit. The only way you’ll get diarrhea is if youwere lactose intolerant and didn’t know it.

• Eating loads of fenugreek makes you smell like maple syrup.

True.

Fenugreek is used as a galactagogue, to boost milk supply in breast-feeding mothers. If you keep increasing your intake when you’re feeding the baby, your urine and your sweat will start to smell like maple syrup. Some mothers notice a change within twenty four to seventy two hours, some show a change in a couple weeks, and some women find it ineffective.

Dosages of less than 3500 mg per DAY have been reported to produce no effect in many women.

• The heart feels emotions.

 

False.

Your heart alone has nothing to do with what you’re feeling. Mostly it’s your brain doing all the controlling. When you say your heart feels emotions, it’s just the surge of adrenaline that’s being pumped into your heart and accelerating the beats.

 

 

• An Apple a day keeps the doctor away.

False.

 

While there’s no denying that apples are healthy, because they’re low in calorie density, have pectin and vitamin C, act as toothbrush by cleansing your mouth, just apples alone won’t keep you disease-free.

You definitely need a balanced diet if you wanna keep the doctor away.

Photos from Google, and some of the information too. Had to double check my facts.

Ten Things About Your Body and Diet That Nobody Tells You

Ten Things About Your Body and Diet That Nobody Tells You

Word of the day:

Hypochondriac, noun. Obsession with the idea of having a serious but undiagnosed medical condition.

Why did I start with such a random word? I’m a physician and I’ve seen far too many hypochondriacs than I would have loved to. Anyway, there’s a million things you could do to take care of your mind and body and not shell out a ton of money on hospitals and doctors’ appointments. I’m just going to jump right in, and talk about ten key things that I’m pretty sure you’ve overlooked.

• Nothing promotes anti-aging as well as good fats do. And the fattier your fish, the better. The next time you wrinkle your nose at salmon, remember that it actually has a good amount of omega-3 fatty acids!

• Let’s talk about eye health. You’d be surprised to know what a pair of clean hands, a good night’s sleep and some staring into the distance at green trees could do. Green happens to be at the opposite end of the spectrum to red, which is considered to be the most emotionally charged color. So, not only does this calm you down, it also happens to be super restful for the eye. Also, this condition called dry-eye is nothing to be scared of. Use lubricating eye drops and you should be fine. How’d you know if you have dry-eye? You’d have itchy eyes. I’m talking super itchy. Specially in the inner corners. Take a break from your laptop and don’t use your phone in the dark. Your eye health is going to improve drastically.

• Your hands actually say a lot about you. The knuckles, for example. If you have some hyperpigmentation, you could be suffering from Vitamin B12 deficiency. Take a look at your nails. If you’re a chain smoker and your nails look like this:

You could be suffering from lung cancer. A normal person would have a diamond shaped “window,” as shown here, but someone with clubbing won’t. And this needs an immediate evaluation.

• Bone broth collagen is brilliant – it helps your skin overcome aging and dryness plus it also provides some relief when you have joint pain and it’s good for the immune system too. I would know. Bless my poor kneecaps. Okay. The thing does taste unpleasant so you could actually add it to your soup, it doesn’t taste as awful then.

• Supplements exist for a reason. Take them, yes but take them in moderation, and don’t overdose. For example, fish oil capsules are good if you take a couple each day. If you take fifty four, you’d end up with kidney issues and you’d wind up dead. Like that guy they’re talking about on Facebook.

• You need to get some sun on the daily. Sure, you’d get tanned if you overdo it, but you do need some sun. That’s the best ever vitamin D you could get. And you need to use sunscreen everyday.

• So bananas always get bad rep for being “fattening,” BUT did you know that bananas contain about approximately 30% of your daily recommended intake of vitamin B6? Vitamin B6 helps the brain produce serotonin, which is supposed to be a mood stabilizer. Serotonin is responsible for your motor skills and your emotions too, plus it helps you sleep and aids digestion. Eating a banana stimulates serotonin, thereby helping with depression and anxiety.

• Cardio alone won’t help you deal with stubborn belly fat. You can’t spot reduce, anyway. Also, too much cardio actually makes you lose muscle mass, and your metabolism slows down as you do it on the daily.

• When you eat too much sugar, your skin undergoes a harmful natural process called glycation. The sugar in your blood attaches to proteins to produce nasty free radicals called advanced glycation end products (AGEs) which accumulate as you keep eating large amounts of sugar, and end up causing damage to the proteins around them. Sugar never causes diabetes directly. But it does make you put on a ton of weight, and obesity causes diabetes. Also, if you have a family history of the disease, watch out.

• Your acne placement tells a lot about what’s wrong with your body – for example, acne on your chin would mean a spike in hormones, usually androgens. Acne on the T zone could mean stress.

Do you guys find posts like this useful? If yes, let me know. Also, if there’s a particular medical related topic you’d like me to talk about, do let me know.

10 Medical-y Things that DON’T Freak Me Out

10 Medical-y Things that DON’T Freak Me Out

Last week I did  a post on 10 medical-y things that DO freak me out and Paul (from The Captain’s Speech) asked me to do this post, so here goes.

1. The money. It’s really good. Even though Indian doctors make peanuts. 

2. The scrubs. If you ever watched even ONE episode of Grey’s Anatomy you’d know that scrubs look – for a lack of better word – cool.

3. The sex appeal. Look at this guy. Just look.

4. The respect. You know people look at you with a lot more respect when you tell them you’re a doctor. Not bragging, just talking from experience.

5. The stethoscope. Something about this contraption makes me feel happy. Very. Insanely. Inexplicably.

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Points two, three and five - proof.

6. The fact that you can totally know what’s wrong with your body and try and fix it yourself. Oh yes.

7. The way patients trust you. It’s a beautiful thing.

8. The fact that you get to save lives. Doctors without Borders is doing so good.

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Look at this.

9. The fact that doctors have skilled hands. At most things. Nudge, Nudge. Wink, Wink.

10. And finally, our conferences are AMAZING.

10 Medical-y Things That Freak Me Out

10 Medical-y Things That Freak Me Out

Soooo, did anyone prank you yesterday? Someone did prank me. SOMETHING, to be precise. That something happened to be my new phone  (that’s less than a month old) and it kept rebooting like cray. Which prompted my friend to tell me it had been possessed. Like that movie Pulse. Anyway. Apart from rebooting-like-cray phones, here’s a list of top ten things that freak me out:

1. Back pain. Every time I get one of those, I’m like Holy cow now I’ve got kidney stones.

2. Stomach cramps while on board a long flight. God forbid you ever get one of those. I’ve stopped eating anything prior to my long flights, thanks to cramps. You know when you’re into the medical profession, you tend to think you’ve gotten ulcer or something when cramps persist for so long. Mine have.

3. Missing uh, chums. I know I’ve got dude readers who freak out at the mention of the P words – period, pregnancy – but we’re all adults here. I’m a workout junkie and I sometimes go overboard with the diet and this causes me to miss my uh, chums. Though I know this is the only reason, I can’t help feeling I might have been impregnated by a Incubus.

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Not the kind of pregnancy I want.

4. Blood tests. AHMYGAWD. The tourniquet thing they put on my arm the last time looked germy as ever. And them needles. Aaaaaarrrrgghhh.

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This'll be me when Death comes calling.

5. Sweaty palms. Oh this is the worst. I already have prominent eyeballs (Graves disease causes people to have that, you know, thyroid problems) and when I get the attack of the Sweaty Palm, I’m a stark raving hypochondriac.

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Tra la la

6. Hairfall. Not gonna lie, this ish is scary. I get nightmares that alopecia struck my pretty head and left me with a shiny bald patch right in the middle of my scalp. When I wake up from those nightmares, I realize I’ve been sweating bullets.

7. Getting thirsty too often and making too many trips to the loo. Oh dear God. This is terrifying. Diabetes! No. No. Please no.

8. Craving too much salty junk. The other day I didn’t realize I was stuffing banana chips into my mouth without even thinking what I was doing. Because normally, I am this person that normally hates salty food and avoids both sugar and salt. And my mum gave me the eye like, Welcome to the club. You’re hypertensive now. Aaaaaack. Needless to say, I dropped the bag of chips as though it’d scalded me.

9. Swollen feet. Aah. Hello, nephrotic syndrome.

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The woes of every Medico.

10. Saved the best for last. Falling sick constantly. Oh well. There goes my immune system.

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#truestory

Pic creds: Google.

“The Day You Slipped Away”

“The Day You Slipped Away”

By the time I was eleven, I was sick of school already. I hated everything. I wanted to sleep and stuff my face with Pringles and stay on the couch like a fat cushion.

It was that summer, 2002, that Dad decided enough was enough. Every kid was doing amazingly well, he said, taking their classes and homework seriously. Except me. He unceremoniously packed me into the car, me screaming like my skin was on fire, and whisked me off somewhere.

Ten minutes later, we stopped in front of this house with peach walls.

I was still bawling.

My Dad turned to me and said, “Baba, behave, please. You’re getting a new tutor.” Now, I detest tutors on principle  – present tense because I still do – and this was going to be hard. He’s a nice man, my Dad, so I stopped my bawling and nodded, eleven year old me, brave face and all.

Dad actually held the door open for me. We walked up the stone steps and rang the doorbell. A tiny elderly woman, my height, all apple-cheeked, sparkly-eyed and smiley, opened the door. She greeted Dad with a “Hello, Doctor” and showed us in.

The room hit me like whoa.

The whole area was filled with bookcases bursting over with books. Now, I’ll admit, I was hooked. Books with Russian sounding authors, books with weird symbols on the spines, books with varying stages of yellowing jackets, well-thumbed, everywhere. Like a home library of enormous proportions.

“Seems like she likes it here!”

I had forgotten we were here to get me a new tutor. I whipped around and there he was, this old and incredibly smiley guy in white linen pajamas and a tee. And carpet slippers. I’m shy with new people so at this point, I think I kind of hid behind Dad.

This guy said his name was Mr. M and he’d be happy to see me start attacking his library. Some of my shyness gone, I emerged from behind Dad and asked Mr. M, blurted actually, “I’m glad you like Harry Potter too! Who’s your favorite, though?”

Mr. M seemed delighted to answer, “Hermione, of course!” I near about high-fived him. The ice broken effortlessly, Dad left me there so I’d start reading straight away, and he promised to come pick me up after we were done.

And that’s how it started. Mr. M become my proxy grandfather, since I’d never had a grandpa (both my grandpas died before I was born) and I got a new nickname, Vernon. Because of my pushing him to eat rabbit food. You know, carrots and stuff. If you’re a Potterhead, you’ll know what this means. We’d hang out everyday after school, he’d help me with grammar and prepositions and he taught me phonetics and he was the BEST DARN ENGLISH TEACHER IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY. Also, the best grandad. He and Mrs. M had totally adopted me too.

Thing is, he was very fussy about his food. Despite my constant cajoling, he refused to eat his greens – rabbit food. Mr. M was vegan and picky, and it hurt his body. His liver failed, despite the fact that he was a non-alcoholic. Cirrhosis and ascites** kicked in randomly and rapidly and he had to be moved into a nursing home.

All those tubes, coming out of him like transparent worms – it hurt to watch. The second love of my life, after my Dad, he was frail yet he still managed to crack jokes. I’d mostly run out of the room to cry, it broke me to hear his voice crack and the sparkle in his eyes dim.

I remember, towards the end, when he could still talk, he told my Dad, “You’ve got a brilliant child. Don’t you worry about her. She’ll do great.” He’d never live to see me get into med school. He’d never see me again.

He died on this very day, August 4, seven years ago, aged 65, ripped from me before his time, at 19:03 hours Indian standard time.

(**kwashiorkor causes ascites.)

I can’t write anymore today.

Dissection.

Dissection.

How does it feel, now that he’s taken you apart? Making precise, neat incisions, perfect like a surgeon’s. No wait, more like a pathologist’s, the exact same precision, while he performs autopsies.

Only you’re not quite dead.

You’re a quarter to dead o’ clock.

You can still feel the nerve endings. In your fingertips. In your limbs. In your shoulders. You can feel the each of the several muscles. You are groggy, from all the pain and anesthesia, that hasn’t quite set in. You still feel pain.

There goes the Y-shaped incision. Right over your naked skin. On the cold metallic table in the morgue, in your head, you still feel goosebumps. You feel him pull down the incision. Almost till your belly button. And he scrapes the fat away, to get to your viscera.

There’s your heart. Your liver. Lungs. Faintly filling in and out. In and out. Little popping noises. Unnatural. He frowns. Wondering why your heart won’t stop beating. Why this resolute. He gets to your sternum, he loses professionalism, in his hurry to get to your heart. Grabs it in his white latex-gloved hand, rips, snips, chops, hacks it out. Plops it into the viscera tray. And he wonders what your brains must look like. Now that your heart is gone and you’re in some sort of coma. Still alive. Kept alive by the brain stem.

He gets out one of those circular saw things, you can’t quite recall it, your memories clouded over by the thoughts of his dimples, his hands, his lips on your skin, his stubble agianst your bare neck – memories of what used to be, before this autopsy became a necessity.

You see, you were infected. You were poisoned, you were slowly wasting away. Atrophied. Blackened. You nauseated him. He needed closure. He needed you fixed. He needed to get to the bottom of your disorders, needed to know why your imperfections stood out like scars on your personality. He needed some answers. It was already too late.

He shaves your head. Hack job. You feel the cold spine of the little bone saw in on your skull. Deftly he slices your skull like you’d slice an egg. He gets your brains out. He needs to see why you acted so crazy.

As he frowns in concentration, you can hear the hate cogs in his brain working, as he thinks, “F*cking b*tch needed to get laid.”

He drops your brains into the viscera tray, with unnecessary force, your heart plops out onto the shiny wet (from formalin?) floor: he stamps on it and walks away.

And all this time you still wonder why.

Love xx