Don’t post this, don’t say that
Pretend you’re something you’re not
Act cold, act happy when you’re sad
Act excited even when you rot
Don’t be yourself, they said
Be someone else completely
Someone not so messed in the head
I say ok, and I nod my head weakly
Haven’t been happy in months now
But I can’t talk about it
It has to be hidden away somehow
So no one knows about it
Made to feel like a dirty secret
Almost like it were wrong to be me
Like I’m supposed to have no identity
And I’m supposed to be unseen
Alone and secluded for weeks
Abandoned, and forgotten almost
No one asks if you ate or if you’ve healed
I’m struggling to barely stay afloat
This isn’t a cakewalk
Not like I thought it would be
There’s no champion, and no rock
No one seems to let my headspace be
Either you’ve to post grad
Or make progeny
There’s just this or that, really
With no options in between
Sometimes I wonder would things
Have been different if I’d switched rooms
I lie awake and the doorbell rings
Bringing in yet another day of doom.