Should You Even Keto?

Should You Even Keto?

Call it the latest trend if you will, but it’s the coolest diet out there for a lot of people. The celebs are doing it. The plebs are doing it. And so is a lot of us in between.

Now, the question is: how safe is this whole thing?

Pretty much like with most new dietary changes, you need to take a few points into consideration before you jump on the bandwagon. Heh heh. I know people that said they weren’t influencers or bloggers but they suddenly started blogging out of the blue. Which means, whatever you don’t wanna do at this point, you will someday for sure. Coming to the safety of Keto – it’s safe. BUT – and there’s a big but – you need to get your vitals tested, and you need to talk to your doctor before you proceed.

I’ve been on Keto for a while now. It’s been going great. I haven’t broken it much. So yay, go me. This is coming from a person who’s tried going vegetarian and vegan and couldn’t stick to either – but has successfully managed to be on Keto for a good four months now. A few pointers to get you started:

• What exactly is Keto?

Your body runs on the fuel it essentially gets from carbohydrates. But on a Keto diet, the carbs are replaced by fat and protein. So when the body doesn’t have carbs to burn, it turns to burning fat instead. That’s when your body produces ketone bodies and the process of ketosis starts. You’ll probably have a lot of bathroom problems even when you’ve just started out – and you’ll have the flu and maybe even diarrhea – along with major mood swings from the lack of carbs, but all of that should pass within the first week itself. You’ll also feel low on energy and you won’t be able to workout as rigorously. That’s probably going to go away after the first week or two. Everyone’s going to respond differently, of course. It took my body eight-ish days to adapt.

• What can I eat when I’m on Keto?

Literally pretty much all the chicken and egg you can eat. Broccoli, asparagus, zucchini, mushrooms and spinach are all good for you. Broccoli has low carb content and it’s high in protein, plus it’s a super versatile vegetable. You can eat avocados. Cauliflower. Cheese. Bacon. Fish.

My super yum grilled chicken with cheese that I made the other day.

Switch this with that.

You can go with almond and coconut flour instead of the regular flour. Stevia instead of regular sugar. Use ghee or butter to fry whatever you need to fry. Bulletproof coffee instead of regular coffee. Almond or soy milk instead of regular milk. But remember, no fruits, and no bread and no pizza and no nothing. No orange juice. No smoothies unless it’s a veggie one made out of broccoli and spinach and lettuce. Most importantly, no booze.

Here’s a google-sourced image of what your Keto diet should consist of.

• Can I follow this diet if I’m a vegetarian?

Oh yes. Eat all the tofu you need. But you’ve to be mindful, since soy messes with your thyroid issues. Apart from the obvious cauliflower (which in my opinion, you need to eat in moderation because thyroid issues and cruciferous veggies don’t mix), there are other veggies you can eat. Like zucchini, Swiss chard, mushrooms, asparagus, celery, spinach, bok choy, broccoli rabe, cabbage, broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts and lettuces (arugula, green and red leaf, endive, romaine, etc.)

Most importantly, weigh your portions.

• How effective is Keto?

The first week that I tried it, I noticed a significant drop in weight. It was probably just my water weight, but after three weeks of clean Keto – I noticed a good chunk of fat gone from the love handle area. So yes, it works. If you’re doing dirty Keto, like only eating the animal protein, you won’t notice the changes immediately because your body needs plant protein too (hello, fiber and vitamins).

• What supplements can I take?

If you’ve been prescribed supplements by your doctor, you can continue those, no problem. I take fish oil and something Indians call Triphala and they’re super useful, at least to me. Omega 3 fatty acids are something your body won’t be producing on its own stock of the essential fatty acids we know as LA (linoleic fatty acid or Omega 3) and ALA (alpha-linolenic fatty acid or Omega 6). But that’s a topic for another day.

In conclusion, do your research and spend a good chunk of time finding out what works for you. Don’t just jump on the bandwagon, like I said, because a lot of people are doing it. It’s not going to help.

Have an egg-cellent Hump Day while I go polish off my broccoli smoothie.

The Bengali Never Diets

The Bengali Never Diets

We are in the middle of what I call the Fat Season. Actually no, scratch that. We are in the middle of Evil Cholesterol season. Every January, every Bengali family makes it a point to get hold of as much milk as possible – milk, and coconut, and jaggery, and more milk, sugar and more sugar, oil and cardamom and cinnamon and everything else that comes to your mind when you think of food that sticks to your thighs – and produce batches of traditional Bengali saccharine edible sins.

Sorry about that.

There’s nothing more sinful than Bengali food. I’m not even kidding. We are known for the roshogolla, after all. And if that’s not proof enough that the Bengali never diets, I don’t know what is.

This season, we make pithas. According to dear old Wikipedia,

Pitha is a type of rice cake from the eastern regions of the Indian subcontinent; common in Bangladesh and India, especially the eastern states of Odisha, Assam, West Bengal, Jharkhand, Bihar and the northeastern region of India. Pithas are typically made of rice flour, although there are some types of pitha made of wheat flour. Less common types of pitha are made of palm or ol (a local root vegetable).

There are several kinds of Pitha, I’ll talk about four that most people seem to adore.

Doodh Pooli:

Rice dumplings stuffed with coconut and cooked in thick milk sweetened with date palm sugar.

Chitoi Pitha:

Chitoi Pitha are steamed pancakes quite common in east of India. Teeny tiny baby pancakes, again cooked in thick milk.

Patishapta:

This is a traditional Bengali pancake recipe where the pancake are stuffed with Kheer or khowa.

Malpua:

Malpua is a pancake served as a dessert or a snack originating from the Indian subcontinent, popular in India, Nepal and Bangladesh.

If you haven’t noticed, Google seems to describe almost everything listed as a “pancake”. This would offend every Bengali and not just me. Every Pitha IS AN ACTUAL WORK OF ART, made with love, browned to crisp golden perfection and meant to add to your waistline very sneakily, and definitely not just a pancake. No Sir. It takes away from the whole romanticized notion that Bengali Pitha is life. And no self-respecting Bengali would just stick to one Pitha. Uh uh.

The Bengali starts hogging his way through bhog and maach and biriyani with the aloo and egg, right from September. Then comes the Kali Pujo. If I start talking about the number of deities we have, you’d all fall asleep. Actually, I’m not sure myself about how many we do worship. BUT I do know that we are all foodies and we eat like crazy, no matter what. It’s like we eat for six months because we have big celebrations back to back; and then we fantasize about eating more for the other six.

Sigh.

Do you have any Bengali friends? Have you tried Bengali food? THOUGHTS!?

Weird Compulsions

Weird Compulsions

The other day one of my favorite beauty bloggers tweeted something and it got me thinking about how right she was. We’ve all become so… accessible.

It is such a weird compulsion.

This whole thing – how when someone texts or calls, you gotta respond immediately or they end up thinking, “Oh she is such a bitch!” – is kind of sad. How we always seek validation, and we don’t even know we’re doing it. It’s nuts. When did it get like this? I like my alone time and it doesn’t mean I’m doing stupid shit. I don’t like being in situations where I’ve to give people an update on everything I’m doing. I mean, come on, even FACEBOOK isn’t as inquisitive as some people are! Like what’s with people texting constantly when you’re out with family? If you don’t respond immediately, you get texts that say – “Whoa who am I now? Nothing. Just time pass. I know you’re getting married and shopping for your lehenga!”

!!!!!!!!!

I actually know one such person. Super cute and super insecure. How do you deal with that? If you know someone that gets severe separation anxiety from not getting texts back? You ignore them and then you calm yourself down and then you text them back. Right? Wrong. You’ll find yourself the victim of this weird compulsion and composing a reply and sending it anyway. Gah. This makes me so mad. Why must we stay and please every freaking person??! Does it really matter if people think you’re rude as fuck and that you use them and that you aren’t a good person? If you don’t get back to them immediately? NO. It doesn’t.

What’s worse is we know this. And we still let it bother us and we let ourselves stay accessible. UGH. This makes me so mad.

I made a new resolution: I’m gonna stop thinking about what people say about me if I don’t reply. If I don’t take calls. And I’m going to give myself more time and work on being a better person. It’s not necessary to talk everyday. It’s not. If you have a mature relationship with your people, they’ll get you. And that’s how it should be.

Are you a victim of weird compulsion too? Let me know.

Concert Update!

Concert Update!

THIS WAS FRIGGIN’ AMAZEBALLS! Okay, let me calm down a bit and talk. My first time was – “crazy” doesn’t come close to describing it.

I had two passes, like I mentioned earlier, and I brought my cousin’s roommate as my plus one.

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Totally calls for a selfie.

We both wore black shirts and blue jeans. Kinda costume-y but hey, we looked the part. I saw kids in palazzo pants and crop tops and pencil skirts and heels. Ginormous heels. They also brought their ten feet tall boyfriends, to hold them up, so I guess that wasn’t much of a problem. And oooh, interesting fact: concerts are perfect spots, THE perfect spots, to make out/ act like stark raving lunatics/ totally make fun of yourself. Why? No parents. Dada.

Damn. Always deviating from the point. Ugh.

Guess what? Some band I’d never heard of called Girish and The Chronicles opened for The Poets of the Fall. And by the time POTF took the stage, I had a splittin’ headache. And I could hear my heartbeat in my head. Man, oh man. I’m sorry to add, I did not even last two hours. Thanks, Girish and the Chronicles.

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The fundraiser was for a good cause: leukemia.

On my way back home, we stopped at Starbucks and I lost my jacket. I actually left it in the stupid auto-rickshaw. Oh well.

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That strawberry chocolate frappecino was ah-maziiiiiiing. Go try. How’s your Saturday-that-feels-like-Sunday been, y’all?

WTF Wednesday – #11

WTF Wednesday – #11

Welcome to yet another blogpisode of my amazingly popular (I’m kidding, of course) WTF Wednesday!

First things first, my stethoscope gave up the ghost. Let’s all take a moment to mourn Her tragic death. Yes, I name my stuff. It helps me bond, and also minimizes the chances of all tools and machines having full-blown vendettas against me. Now, back to my lovely stethoscope – she was called Docsophagus. Yes, a she. Go on, laugh your lungs out. I ain’t batting my liberally-coated-with-mascara lashes.

So now I’m on the hunt for a glittery pink stethoscope that makes me feel like candyfloss unicorn. Recommendations, anyone?

I ALSO GOT ELBOWED IN THE RIBS BY A COW. And Simba clawed at my brand new shirt and drooled all over my sleeves. So much love in the air, y’all. Important tip: Shih Tzus have ADD. They are distracted by peanut butter. And motorcycle noises terrify them. If you happen to own one, tempt him with peanut butter cookies and he’ll behave like the best angel, ever.

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Check out his teeth.

Did anyone else think that Tom Cruise is awfully lackadaisical in the latest Mission Impossible movie? (Do not watch it if it’s dubbed in Hindi, it’ll suck bananas. Just a heads up. You’re welcome.) It was so bad, I needed some sugar rush. Good riddance to bad diet!

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So yum. It totally explains my current size - house.
The Dragon’s Loyalty Award!

The Dragon’s Loyalty Award!

So the adorable Natalie Davis from (https://ncdavis2003.wordpress.com/) happened to nominate me for the Dragon’s Loyalty Award!

The Rules:

1. Thank and mention the blogger that nominated you.

2. Post the award logo on your blog.

3. State seven facts about yourself.

4. Nominate others.

Okay. Whew. Again? Fine, time to babble like an idiot. Here goes – seven random facts about me:

1. I’m terrified of the dark. If I have to pee, I text everyone online and ask them to stand by in case the Bogeyman grabbed me.

2. I type super fast. If I get carpal tunnel, well, now you know why.

3. I might be schizophrenic. I hear voices. In my head. Telling me, “Order pizza! Order pizza!” At all ungodly hours of the day.

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Lord, this is heaven.

4. I’d rather have a sugar enema and sit atop an anthill than get wet in the rain.

5. I’m currently obsessed with: America’s next top model, Tyra Banks’s wardrobe and lipstick.

6. This morning I accidentally sat on my stethoscope and I’ve got a bruise on my butt. I’ll lose weight standing – because I can’t sit down anymore. (Are you crying yet?)

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Spotted at a random Indian Government hospital. I had no clue mail needed medication.

7. I’m dying to share my bucket list with y’all. (Because Alex from https://onlybadchi.wordpress.com did it.)

You’re all tagged! Leave me comments below and tell me some random facts about yourselves; I SO want to get to know y’all better.

Of Omelettes and Relationships

Of Omelettes and Relationships

The day I tried making my first ever omelette was a nightmare – Hell actually froze over. By the time I was done, the kitchen resembled a war zone. My omelette had more eggshell than actual egg. The cheese had disappeared into my tum. Forgive me, I was six.

Fast forward almost two decades.

I still can’t make a proper omelette. It’ll always either be overdone or happen to stay raw in the middle. Maybe that’s why my relationships suck too.

All of my relationships have kind of been like omelettes. Either overdone or raw. Maybe I didn’t let the oil warm up enough (read: Wasn’t over my ex). Maybe I kept craving for omelettes when hungry (read: got acared of being lonely and jumped into the next relationship, multiple times). Maybe I have ham hands and it’s obvious that my omlettes will always be eggshell-y (read: Don’t know how to prioritize). Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten all that cheese (read: Pretended to be okay with everything).

And before you begin to wonder – no, therapy is NOT HELPING.

I gotta learn how to make an omelette. Before my life cracks like a raw stinkin’ egg and I’m left with a lot of messy yolk to deal with. I’ll update y’all once I’ve mastered the art of cracking eggs one-handed.

WTF Wednesday – #7

WTF Wednesday – #7

Seen at Kolkata airport:

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This is actually for real.

No rosogolla? What the major eff? People COME to Kolkata to get rosogollas, bro. This is like, the dumbest rule in the history of dumbest rules!

Needless to say, I glowered at the stupid man till he visibly bristled. Not that it did me any good.

The airport people took away my jar of rosogollas. Despite me insisting I couldn’t leave home without them. And now, I’ve to rot in PigSty without them. So annoying.

For those of you who are wondering what the giant fuss about rosogollas is all about, I suggest you take some time out to Google it. And maybe come to Kolkata and bite into one.

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Rosogollar haari (the earthen pot is called haari)

And no, canned spongy ones don’t count.

I am a racist when it comes to food, okay? I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO EAT THE FOLLOWING:

1. Aforementioned canned rosogolla – I don’t eat any other mishti (Bengali word for sweets) so I might as well eat the authentic ones from Kolkata.

2. Fries/ pakode that have been overcooked and thoroughly browned. Which I take as a personal insult.

3. Pork, because I loathe pigs. They barge into my territory. And they are the first citizens of the Hell hole I currently reside in. *sigh*

(I however, eat tons of chicken. I would even eat this:

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)

…anyway back to the point. I’m still fuming. They didn’t let me carry my rosogollas back!!!!!!! How could they!? I’m assuming they’ve traded in their humanity for the brand spanking new air conditioning at the stupid Kolkata airport. Erm, okay it’s not stupid. I was exaggerating.

And when you’re sad and missing one kinda food, you (over)compensate with another kind, right?

(Everyone nod your heads, please. Pretend to be enthusiastic, too. Ah, thank you.)

So I had this.

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Apparently this is called Sizzling Garlic Chicken.

The eyeball-y looking things are just onions, relax. And S ate one cabbagey leaf which she thought was lettuce. Don’t ask me why. Hahaha.

And this.

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Mocktail. I don't do cocktails. Dadadda.

This was the lamest post I’ve ever done. I know, I know. It’s okay to be lame on the blogosphere.

Have any airport rules annoyed you?

Sweetest Taste of Sin.

Sweetest Taste of Sin.

I realize I missed one instalment of my WTF Wednesday series. Do not fret. I’m still hogging. Pigging out. What else do you expect? I live in the Pig Capital of the country, hello.

My doctor says I’ve to weigh in once every week. Which I never do. I’m terrified of two things – shaadi.com and the weighing scale. And yes, my crazy parents had once created a profile for me. Oh that dumb matrimonial website. Yes, you can get grooms and brides online while surfing the net, sitting on your couch in your Hello Kitty/ Batman PJs and stuffing your face with Pringles while managing to look like a perfect version of death. I hacked into dad’s computer and took that embarassing load of crap down.

*Insert giant dramatic shudder*

So before I stray any further from what I was saying – I actually weighed in today. And it was bad news, y’all. Bad news calls for cheese and all sorts of comfort food that hugs your derriere. And thighs. And your midsection. And I decided to grab the most fattening thing on the menu. Fine. I’m fat. Fat people are happy. And I’m turning 24. In exactly a week. I have to get drunk on food. I have to. It’s the sweetest taste of sin.

Right?

The voices in my head – and belly – tell me this is wrong. That I should watch my calories. But – look, pretty food!

There are three things you can’t ever say no to – pretty food, pretty stationery… Pretty shoes.

Also, have you noticed that EVERYTHING SEEMS APPEALING WHEN YOU’RE ON DIET? I’m sure even Haggis would seem appealing. Or maybe I’m preggers with a food baby. That’s it. That explains why I’m hungry all the time.

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I've never seen nachos that matched shirts. Lol.

Which reminds me – that yellow dip tasted horrible, by the way. It’s just that the light makes it look okay. And I am never eating nachos again.

Ooh. I’ve got a Sheldon Cooper-y thing with “spots.” Like, my friend and I would always sit at this corner booth, but then we got hit by the Attack of Helicopters – waiters who hover, try to flirt, and just. won’t. budge. And every time you try to take a bite, they come talk to you and your food gets cold waiting on the fork somewhere halfway between your plate and mouth. And you’re too polite to ask them to go away. And they won’t take the hint.

Today we actually changed our spot. And guess what? No Helicopters! Yes! 💪

(Sorry about the insane diary-ish post. I’m totally stressed. It sucks, having to say goodbye to early twenties. *Sob*)

The Versatile Blogger Award!

The Versatile Blogger Award!

I know, I know.

I know what you’re thinking.

How many awards does this chick do? Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I can’t help it. I never say no to awards, ever.

So, Frederick (https://fredtotherick.wordpress.com/) nominated me for The Versatile Blogger Award. Check out his blog – he’s spontaneous, fun and very, very creative.

The Rules:

🍩 Thank the person who gave you this award.
🍫 Include a link to their blog. 
🍕 Nominate 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award.
🍗 Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things/facts about yourself.

The food emoji bullet points are totally unnecessary, but I used them because, well – “FOOOOOOD”.

Here are seven facts about moi:

1. I really, really, really talk a lot. Which leads to my chain of conversations getting derailed. I also beat about the bush a lot. Never getting to the point at once. So, that’s me.

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So me.

2. I’ve never kissed with tongue. I find the whole process gross, unhygenic and basically, just weird.

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Like, ew.

3. I think fried chicken is healthy. Hear me out. You deep fry it, the oil won’t absorb. Also, chicken is yellow food. And the batter has eggs! Healthy! Total win win.

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That's what I do. Really. Except the booze of course.

4. I’m the biggest escapist (since Houdini). I lose myself. In books. Movies. Blogging. Words. It’s a beautiful thing.

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5. I’ve got a thing against the way the Chief Minister of West Bengal dresses. This is probably the millionth time I’m saying it – but I can’t stand shabby people!!!!! Ugh. Get a salon appointment already.

Also, shoes distract me.

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6. My favorite movies are Flipped, Real Steel, Fight Club, Frozen, Maleficent, Dark Shadows and Little Manhattan. I think Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter are perfection personified, together.

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7. I find Disney villains more fascinating than the princesses. I think the movie Maleficent totally proves my point.

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How perfect is Angelina Jolie?

Ooh. Another nomination for the same award! This time by the amazing, Batman-loving Ayushi (https://ayushijoshi13.wordpress.com) who asked some questions, I’ll answer them right here:

Do you believe in magic?

Oh yes, I am a huge believer. Magic. Miracles. UFOs. You name it, I believe it.

If you could change one thing about you, what would it be?

Everything! Is that bad? Well, not my eyebrow mole though. I really like it.

If you were given a superpower, what would it be?

Telekinesis.

If you could bring one fictional character to life who would he/she be?Why?

Professor Dumbledore. ‘Nuff said.

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TOTES!

Which is the one song that you currently relate to?

I don’t relate relate but I’m obsessed with Talking Body by Tove Lo. At the moment.

Have you ever been heart-broken?

A gazillion times. Do not get me started.

If you were stuck in a zombie apocalypse and were going to die tomorrow what would your last wish be? ( except of course to live :P)

To eat as many donuts as I possibly could. And die a happy and (probably gassy) death.

And I nominate the following AMAZING blogs!

Uday – https://udayology.wordpress.com/ – Pretty interesting name for blog. 😛

Melanie – http://amusingmyselfmusings.com/ – My favorite woman, ever.

Noor – https://aunatureltwists.wordpress.com – She’s a sweetheart!

Karthik – https://royallyawesome.wordpress.com – who digs Fight Club.

My DL
https://markbialczak.com – Because he is AWESOMENESS!!

Have fun telling me seven random facts about yourself!