Actually Painful Stuff

Actually Painful Stuff

Have you read Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda? Becky Albertalli just casually throws a line in there about how exhausting blogging actually is. That’s the number one thing on our list today: blogging, on the daily, is painful. Painfully hard.

Is there anything harder than that? Yes. Challenges. The 365 day challenge. The gallon-of-water-a-day challenge. The no sugar diet challenge. The list goes on. Now don’t get me wrong – we love lists on this side of the Internet. We do. In fact, my blog seems to be filled with listy posts that people actually managed to read without falling asleep. So yay, go me. My point here, before I digress, is lists are hard to do. Both to make and to stick to. Also, I cannot tell you the number of lists that I have taped to my fridge. It’s more like a noticeboard that’s kind of screaming for help with things left unchecked. Life is mental. Life is batcrap mental. Send help.

You know what else is difficult? Trying to live with Indian parents whose maid just quit on them. Again, don’t get me wrong. My parents are wonderful people. It’s the maid that’s kind of super attached to her new grandkid and didn’t want to be a maid anymore but kind of needed the money – so long story short, she got found out stealing moolah from our wallets and tried to make us look bad and well, um, she quit. Maid culture is rampant in India. Your mum won’t miss you when you’re not around but she’s going to miss the maid. She’s going to be all depressed because she’s the ONLY person who’s working a nine to five job in the circle of other brown mommies, and has to come home and make her own tea. I think this bothers her more than anything else, making her own tea. She detests her own cooking. Go figure. And she won’t like it if you make tea for her because the maid simply does it better. Like holy wow.

Now, as if THAT wasn’t enough, there’s my most painful experience ever – having to wash my makeup brushes every Sunday. It’s a process. You gotta find your brushes first. Make a nice concoction with dishwashing fluid and olive oil, making sure you don’t mess up the ratio. Next, you need to clean the pink Sigma glove you use to swirl your brushes on, so the dirt comes out. And you’ve to do all of that without annoying your mum and her ritualistic Sunday-cooking frenzy. And then you’ve to leave the bushes to dry and put them back in their proper containers so they don’t look messy.

It’s tough being a woman. It is.

*THIS POST HAS BEEN WRITTEN IN JEST. TAKE ALL OF THIS WITH TEN PINCHES OF SALT. IF YOU ARE HYPERTENSIVE, TAKE IT WITH HALF A PINCH OF SALT.

The Ordinary: What Worked

The Ordinary: What Worked

If there’s a brand you need to do extensive research before buying, it has to be The Ordinary. Their Instagram is called Deciem if you want to check them out.

Before we get started, here are a few things you need to know:

1. If you’re buying The Ordinary skincare/makeup off of BeautyBay, and you happen to be in India, please note that you’ll have to pay custom duty.

2. Too much of anything is bad, so understand your skin really well before you buy stuff. But I bet you already knew that.

3. Be consistent.

And now, without further ado…

I have oily, acne-prone skin. When I say acne-prone, I mean SUPER acne-prone. My skin has a mind of its own and I get pimples right before I have an event coming up. And it gets super annoying. Which is why, after hearing about The Ordinary skincare a lot, I decided to haul a few things.

The Ordinary has no-fuss packaging, which I love. It’s very um, straightforward. Most of their products come in glass bottles with a dropper, which makes it so easy to use. Even though the pricing is super nice, they don’t compromise on quality. Here’s everything I got.

• Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1%:

While neither ingredient effectively gets rid of acne, they work together to minimize the look of blemishes, reducing the congestion, and also improves the tone of your skin. I noticed a huge difference in my skin right from the first week of constant use.

Deciem states on their website that this product isn’t meant to be used with Vitamin C, because it takes away the integrity of the ascorbic acid. Aka, your skin will get irritated and you might get burns.

This is a water-based formula, which means the ingredients are super clean – there’s no alcohol, silicone, gluten, and it’s also cruelty free and oil free – and it feels super nice on the skin. I like to use it in the morning and well as before bedtime before my sunscreen and/ or moisturizer.

Some people are sensitive to Niacinamide, and you might get breakouts, so it’s always important to do a patch test first.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Buy it here.

• Salicylic Acid 2% Solution:

This was a lifesaver. I like to typically use a drop of it directly on whichever pesky pimple shows up , typically at night before my moisturizer, and I’ve noticed that it makes pimples go away within three days, tops.

However, it also makes your skin very sensitive to sunlight so if you apply it in the morning and you’re going out, don’t forget the sunscreen.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Buy it here.

• Granactive Retinoid 2%:

I love that it comes in an amber glass bottle, keeps it potent for longer. It’s meant for anti-aging, and I’ve noticed that it helps with hyperpigmentation as well.

I use this a couple times every week, before bed, and I put on my moisturizer and I’m going to slowly start using it more, because I don’t want to shock my skin with BAM, overdose. Know what I mean? I make sure I don’t use it with anything else – the Salicylic and Ascorbic acids, to be precise – and so far my skin hasn’t gotten burned.

A word of caution, pretty much like the rest of The Ordinary stuff, this product will burn your skin if it’s sensitive. Never use this in the morning and never use it with any other retinoids.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Buy it here.

• Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA spheres 2%:

This is the only product that comes in a squeezy tube, and I like that it has hyaluronic acid mixed in. To be honest, this is a very potent combination and if used right, you’re going to see a massive change in your skin in just a few weeks.

The Ordinary recommends you use the lightest stuff first and then move on to the heavier bits of your skincare regimen – and for good reason. I found that when used on my naked skin, the tingling (yes, they warn you about the tingling on the packaging) got pretty unbearable. When I woke up the next day, I noticed that my skin had inflamed around the edges of my mouth. And my brain went: Chemical burn alert!

My skin cleared up when I stopped using it. So if you’re someone with super sensitive skin, I’d say give this a miss.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Buy it here.

High Spreadability Fluid Primer:

I cannot begin to explain how much I LOVE this stuff! It does have silicone, obviously, but noticed that my makeup stayed put longer, and looked really good too.

It’s also fragrance-free (Huda Beauty, are you listening), so if you’re looking for a pocket friendly primer that fills pores and blurs out fine lines, get this. It feels super luxe and you only need a tiny drop.

I’ve seen people complain about how it gets too slippery but nothing of that sort happened to me, so major props to this little guy.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Buy it here.

• Serum Foundation:

So I saved the best for last.

Okay, I bought the wrong shade and unless I’m super tan, I can’t really wear it out, but thankfully it’s the peak of the summer right here in India and this foundation feels like NOTHING on the skin. It’s that weightless. I’m getting the shade 2.0 YG next. It’ll hopefully match me better.

The coverage is natural and makes your skin look like it’s happy and aglow with life. I know I’m being dramatic, but that’s exactly how it makes me feel. I also love that it comes with a pump you can actually lock.

I tried mixing it in with some Cover Fx custom cover drops, to lighten it, and it worked well too. Major props to The Ordinary for doing everything right. The only reason I’ve given it four stars is that the shade range needs work. I mean, Fenty has a million shades. Come on, Deciem.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Buy it here.

The Sadistic Dad Monologues

The Sadistic Dad Monologues

“You’re crap.

No wait, you’re LOOSE crap.

You’re dumb.

You’re a waste of space.

You’re numb.

You’re flakier than breadcrumbs.

How long do I have to support you?

How long will you make me fend for you?

How long will I mend things for you?

Shut up and get to work.

Talking to you is so hard.

You never do what your mother and I want.

Talking to you is like talking to a corpse.

You’re just getting worse.

I wish you were never born.

I wish I could have killed you when you were young.

I wish I never spent a penny on you.

You’re just an investment gone wrong.

You’re brown trash and you only ever take and you take and you play your songs.

You’re filthy.

You’re vile.

You’re disgusting.

You’re as bitter as bile.

I wish you were dead.

And if you’re dying go kill yourself outside instead.”

This isn’t fiction. I’ve seen Dads treat their daughters this way. It’s bad enough to have dreams thrust upon a girl, and to have to deal with abuse isn’t something anyone has to go through. It’s a sin.

Everyday, I see kids with bruises, something their Dads gave them earlier – because the kid failed at math, or because the dad was drunk. Everyday I see a girl cry and have her dreams crushed because she has to live her parents’ dreams and doing something else would bring shame on the family. Marrying for love? Oh my. More shame.

When will this country change?

I’m thankful that it’s not the scene in every family, and that some of us have supportive parents but I wish these girls could live happy and not have to cry because they were born female. Having said that, I need to say I love you, Dad. Thanks for not being like this.

Just birthing a child doesn’t make you a Dad or a Mum. It just makes you a procreator. What makes you an actual parent is how human you act around your children. When you become a parent, please don’t be this way.

Good day, folks.

Things A 19 Year Old Taught Me

Things A 19 Year Old Taught Me

You know, sometimes you just meet people on the Internet and you take in their personality, and you think to yourself – “Bloody hell, what an amazing soul! Wish I was more like that!”

So I met Sabhyata, a design student, on Instagram, a couple months back. If you know me at all, you’d know that I never really talk about people unless I happen to admire/love/hate them in some way. And Sabhyata, she’s taught me a lot over the past couple of months. And I’m grateful. This post is by no means a promotion of ass-kissery (is that a word?) but a genuine appreciation for a beautiful person and something very different from all the ranting I normally do.

Today, I’m going to be raving.

So, who’s Sabhyata and why should you be following her on Instagram?

• She’s organized, in a different way.

Take this nineteen year old self-taught makeup lover, who posts crisp new content everyday, every single damn day. And that’s no mean feat because she’s got school, her chores, AND her feed to keep her busy and she manages everything so flawlessly it’s like she’s almost superhuman. She’s taught me how to manage my time better.

• She’s down to earth.

When you’re growing at the speed she’s growing, the attention gets to your head. The success gets to your head. Not for Sabhyata. I was watching her Instagram live and one thing she said touched my heart so much. Someone had asked her how it felt like, to have such a good number of followers in less than a year to which she replied – “Doesn’t matter whether I have 13 k or 100 k people following me, it’ll always be you guys watching me live at 2 in the morning, and I’ll still be like this.”

Again, this girl is only nineteen. Most teenagers don’t treat other people with the amount of love she does. And she doesn’t over do it either.

Also, she responds to every question. Doesn’t send a ♥️ emoji when someone slides into her DM with legit compliments and questions, and she’s always going to take time to hold an actual decent conversation with people.

She’s taught me to have my feet planted firmly on the ground.

• Friendship.

I talked about competition the other day. Sabhyata is her own competition, biggest critic and she’s everyone’s friend. One of my favorite one liners – “You’re my friend and I won’t ever respect you. Ahah. Why would I? We’re the same. And even if you get a Nobel prize, I’ll still have you as my friend who I’ll love. Not go on and say ah I respect you.”

Total gem, you guys. Total gem.

• Quality over Quantity.

Let’s talk about how professional she is. She learns as she grows and she posts content that’s super high quality too. I guess this is where blessing your feed originated from.

If you’re into makeup and you want to know why I’ve been fangirling so much go give her a follow @palletesandpaint on Instagram.

Not Your Average Hooker

Not Your Average Hooker

So, I went to this “Family Restaurant” (as advertised on the board outside) just to chill for a bit. Again, for emphasis, FAMILY RESTAURANT.

The whole place was empty and it was just my friend and I, and I was wearing something very normal. Just a regular shirt and some jeans and quote, “more makeup than the average Indian woman wears on a regular basis”, unquote. The dust on the seemingly spotless seats, very evident on a closer look, was proof enough that the guy who owned the place didn’t get many customers at all.

I’m never gonna forget the way he acted.

The restaurant was called Mecaf Family Restaurant, and he had a nice place. Decent enough. You’d expect the owner to be anything but be scathing, but oh, he was. My friend and I were the only patrons and from the glances the owner threw our way, we could tell he wasn’t happy with us being there.

We barely finished our drinks and this waiter walked up to us with the check. What the actual fuck? We hadn’t even finished ordering, and they wanted us out. Because I had dramatic eye makeup and some super glossy lip going. I’ve had people look at me with super judgey looks in their eyes. I’ve had comments thrown my way. I’ve had women – women walking around with boyfriends – stare at me and then nudge the boyfriends, openly nodding heads in my direction. I’ve had a girl say, “OMG look at that hooker, so much eye makeup!” AND SHE DID NOT KNOW ME.

WHY IS OUR SOCIETY SO OBSESSED WITH TEARING PEOPLE DOWN?

If wearing makeup denies me access to restaurants or gets me tags, and if people think that it makes me a hooker, so be it. But I’m also a hooker with a medical degree and a license. If wearing false eyelashes gives you access to scanning me with your moral police eyeballs, go ahead and judge me all you want. No woman ever wears makeup to impress a man, let me tell you that. She wears makeup to look good in photos and only for herself. What do most straight, uninterested males know about makeup anyway? The most interesting conversation I’ve ever had with a straight uninterested male was on if it hurts when I peel my false lashes off. And I gave a demo. And he was adorably surprised. Also, boyfriends are experts at ruining makeup so why would women wear makeup to impress a man anyway? The answer is no. No one is a hooker or trying to get laid when wearing makeup. We do it because it acts as a booster. Morale, confidence, sass, everything.

This bias towards women and in 2018 and this whole holier than thou attitude many restaurant owners show, has to stop. Live and let live, really.

Review: Pinrose Gilded Fox

Review: Pinrose Gilded Fox

I normally don’t review makeup or stuff like that on this blog anymore but this fragrance that I just happened to get my hands on, I feel, deserves its own blog post.

I came across Pinrose while looking through the explore section on my Instagram. And I’m huge sucker for packaging and they have a very unique design which they use for all their bottles. It’s like a little cuboidal bottle with blunt edges. I found the whole look so classy and edgy and feminine at the same time. The fragrance I got is called Gilded Fox and it’s a gourmand. Gourmand fragrances are those perfumes that typically smell like some form of dessert, to put it simply. Some of the most commonly used notes in gourmand perfumes include synthetic edible notes like vanilla, candy, honey, caramel and cocoa. They’re often paired with non edible notes like musk, amber, patchouli, and so on.

They’re also called Foodie Fragrances, according to Wikipedia.

Gilded Fox (EDP) is a stunning blend of rum, cocoa and vetiver. Vetiver is native to India 🇮🇳 (woohoo) and used widely in perfumery because of its fixative properties, making fragrances last longer. Now, I looked on Fragrantica and many people seem to be having issues with the longevity of Gilded Fox, but it seems to be working fine on me. I spray this like I normally would – on either sides of my neck and the collarbones and inner wrist. Maybe I kind of overdid it a little but it does last a solid five hours on me. Maybe more.

I enjoy the blend of cocoa and rum on me, specially because of the boozy vibe – it’s very, very unique and very different from my other cold weather favorite – Thierry Mugler Alien Essence Absolue, which smells very vanilla-y. Pinrose recommends layering it with another fragrance, but I really love wearing it on its own.

Totally recommend this if you wanna try a new gourmand that doesn’t burn a hole in your pocket.

However, they have only the 50 ml bottles and tiny rollerball situations. The 50 ml ones retail for USD 65 (I paid INR 6300 because I had a friend import it for me. She runs a page on Instagram called The_Makeup_House).

WTF Wednesday- Teasing

WTF Wednesday- Teasing

I’ve talked about this before and I know my posts do tend to get slightly repetitive at times, but I wanted to address this issue.

Without beating about the bush too much, I’m gonna get straight to the point.

We all do relationships and we all have our own hits and misses, and sometimes we overlook deal-breakers because we love our partners way too much. Now, I’m not the most sensitive person in the world – if I were to describe myself, I’d say I have the sensitivity of a slightly blunt knife. Haha. Jokes apart, I don’t really have that many deal-breakers, but I do have this one thing that I hate. Actually, two things: infidelity and cruel jokes.

I’ve had my share of cruel jokes, fam. Life has played one too many on me. And I don’t like being the butt of the same repetitive jokes when I’m in love with someone who claims to love me back.

What does saying sorry way too many times justify? NOTHING. You may be apologizing profusely one second but then you go back and do the same thing all over again? That’s bad. That’s basically just mean. I know this is a silly thing to be going rather ranty about BUT hear me out okay? You compromise too much in a relationship – you don’t mind if you don’t get calls, or if they don’t wish you good morning. You don’t mind going days without seeing each other because you console yourself that they’re busy and working really hard. You wait to talk to them. And they call you at their own leisure and they make fun of you over what you’re wearing and how you look like and they say one of those hey I don’t mean any of these stupid things I say because I don’t mean any of them.

Like wow. And I’m so proud of you, love, b ’cause you probably didn’t even mean it when you said you loved me.

Stupid love.

The DLG Syndrome

The DLG Syndrome

I know. It doesn’t exist. Why? Because, uh, I just made it up! So Paul did a post on things he keeps (drop everything and go read his post now – right now) and I thought it was such a brilliant idea to write about. Of course, I could have just left a long ass comment on his post but heh heh, I like my two seconds in the limelight like a complete sucker for fame. Who am I kidding again? LilRant isn’t Lil Wayne. I ain’t famous. I might be an ignoramus, but that’s about it.

And enough with the digressing. Why am I like this? I swear I ask myself that a million times a day. Ugh. Moving on.

I keep… things. Besides the usual secrets and stuff. I do keep things. I have what I call the DLG (difficulty letting go) syndrome. I have severe separation anxiety when I have to let go. I just can’t. I agree with Paul when he says we don’t part with books, and I have books from 1994 when I was a toddler learning to draw. I have many, many Enid Blyton books from 1997 – and my first Harry Potter book from ’98. I was so obsessed with it. I don’t remember how long it took me to read that but I remember not letting my dad read it to me because I wanted to read it all on my own. Wow I was bloody innocent back then.

I think my mother has issues letting go too, because she has millions of magazines stacked away in the basement – monthly cooking magazine subscriptions she’s never read or leafed through once (and never tried making any of the dishes listed), old knitting magazines from Jesus knows when, and oh my God, she has a giant cardigan from 1970 when she was a child herself. Surprisingly, no moths have eaten it because it’s hideous and old and ugly. MOM!

My Dad has his textbooks from his residency days. His old journals. His 1986 Vespa. He won’t let go. Okay the problem runs in the family. Although, I understand the attachment to the Vespa. He took a really adorable photo of one year old me, fat cheeks and all, sitting on it. Good times. Good, irritable colicky baby times.

Okay. What else do I keep?

Aha. I have jeans from middle school. When I was obese and basically had no waist. I like to look at them and smirk because I have a waist now. BOO YEAH! I have a windbreaker from 2000 because it’s comfy and I still wear it. Don’t judge me. I have scrapbooks with way too many photos of English soccer player Michael Owen and Australian cricketer Brett Lee. I have journals from the time I was 12 and discovered the joy of writing.

I keep the checks from places I go have lunch or dinner at. I have movie ticket stubs from way back when BookMyShow wasn’t as popular. I have bus tickets from all the times I ran to Bangalore to meet my then boyfriend. 2010, 11, 13. Sigh. I have a dried up rose and chocolate wrappers from the times the said ex boyfriend bought me those. No particular reason. I’m not attached. But maybe I need to throw them out. Hold while I declutter. This is bloody unhealthy.

I have expired makeup. Oh God. I’m looking through my drawers and I have expired mascara. Like, 6 of them. Yikes. I have eyeshadow palettes from 2012 – oh no. I don’t even use them and I still have them. In my defence, no one in India sold makeup from Urban Decay and Stila. There were no Sephoras and I had to beg my best friend to get me makeup when he went home to London. Poor me. Nope, not getting rid of these guys.

I have tickets from the Poets of the Fall concert I went to in August 2015. I even blogged about it and I have the stubs in my wallet. I carry them around like a talisman. *hides face*

I have – erm – a collection of 52 Barbie dolls, showing varying degrees of shabbiness but most of them still have their boxes. Ehehe oh, and I have stuffed animals stuffed away in some corner of the basement because I can’t seem to part with them. I have a box of handwritten letters from the time I had a pen pal. I have old cards – new year and birthdays and stuff. I have, erm, expired perfume. What am I doing with my life!? I have way too much stationery I don’t need and don’t use. I have my broken laptop because I am attached to it. Now I have a new one but I can’t throw away my old one. Sigh. I have a problem.

I could go on.

But I’m gonna go start decluttering now. What do YOU keep?!

MYSTERY BLOGGER AWARD!!

MYSTERY BLOGGER AWARD!!

Oh my God. I can’t believe how much I missed doing these kinds of posts! Back in the day, I’d actually live for tag blogs. Hahahahaha. So when Simon (THANK YOU!!) nominated me I got all excited – this would also be my very first tag post in, like, two years. Yikes. That’s a long time.

So, what is this Mystery Blogger Award?

“It’s an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion.”
Created by Okoto Enigma.

The rules:

• Put the award logo/image on your blog.

• List the rules.

• Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

• Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.

• Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.

• You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.

• Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.

• Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).

• Share a link to your best post(s).

At this point I’m sure everyone who’s been reading my blogs knows everything about me. So I’ll say something stupid and get on with it. Haha. Typical Sooch fashion.

1. I suck at three things – behaving myself, math and relationships.

2. I’m socially awkward.

3. I love donuts enough to live inside one. Creepy. Sorry.

Here are my answers from Simon.

What’s do you hope to better yourself in this year?

Stop overthinking and not expect a thing from people.

What was your favourite Christmas yummy?

SIMON. You already know I ate way too much cake this year!

What in the world now worries you most or would you like to see change?

Jihad. Drama. People shooting at each other for no reason whatsoever. EXTRAVAGANZA that’s not needed.

What’s your favourite biscuit?

There’s an Indian brand called Bisk Farm and they make these amazing crackers with cream cheese. Yum.

What is on Netflix right now that you can’t help watching?

Stranger things. Eheheh. I know.

And *drumroll* here are my nominees:

Udayology

FlyTrapMan

Robyn

Ben

Bhukkhad Yatri

Chape Personal Trainer

Decoding Happyness

Fatty McCupcakes

FiercePaint

I also nominate everyone who wants to do this challenge.

Here are my questions:

1. What was the last book you read?

2. How long have you been blogging with WordPress?

3. Your favourite movie of all time?

4. Are you a morning person?

5. What’s that one thing about yourself that you totally love?

Feel free to ignore the tag, there’s no compulsion at all. Also, here’s one of my blog posts that got about 98 likes. Like, that’s crazy but here you go.

What did black cats ever do to you?

Recipe for Disaster

Recipe for Disaster

You know what’s crazy? The whole dating scene. Relationships. It’s freaking twisted. I don’t mean to say that being in a relationship is a bad thing, because it isn’t. It’s great. It’s peachy. There’s kissing and there’s the occasional hand holding depending on the comfort level you and your partner share with the whole PDA thing.

BUT.

I don’t get the point of getting asked out on stupid things like overpriced coffee dates. What do you achieve from this? I’ll tell you what. A big sack full of nada. I don’t like people that keep sending random texts asking you out for coffee. Like, what and why? I can make my own coffee, in the comfort of my own house and I don’t need you to pay 💰 for that crap. No thank you. It’s like consumerism has suddenly exploded and also started doing a serious amount of crack. Sigh. <<<<
't like planning things when it comes to romance and relationships. Unless of course, you're married and there's kids involved and you need to save where you can. I like spontaneity. I like being surprised. I'm talking good surprises. Not the kinds where your partner springs one on you and says woo hoo I’m leaving you for Cathy at work cause she has a bigger butt. Jesus. No. Not that kind; the good kind. The hey I made dinner and you’re coming over and we’re watching Friends together kind. How hard is that?

But no, no, no.

As if dating in India wasn’t hard enough, you gotta plan everything and you gotta end up breaking your head when your partner cancels plans. Like, stop. Live. Live every moment. You don’t need to go ahead and be a control freak from hell. I’ve seen people who feel the need to update their partner with every little detail of what’s going on. This micromanaging thing? It’s fucking scary! You promise yourself you won’t turn into one of those people but lo and behold, you’re the champion of micromanagers. And you don’t even know when that shit happened.

And if everything is going okay between you and your partner, there will always be an external factor just waiting to make a mess.

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. And it’s the loss that’s gonna make you flip. It’s so scary.

Who else feels the same way?