How to: Stay Civil with The Ex

How to: Stay Civil with The Ex

Most of us tend to have a lot of bitterness towards people that we no longer have a relationship with, the reasons often being:

• cheating issues

• trust issues

• money issues

• no closure

• all of the above.

There are friends of mine that have such bad memories with their exes, it’s hard to not be hostile. But then again, in a world that’s so twisted, rotten and divided, the least you could do is stay civil with the people you once loved. Here’s how:

• Forgiveness.

I’m not saying you need to go and become best friends with them: all I’m saying is you could be neutral and nice and not harbor murderous intentions towards them. No matter how difficult it is, the first step here would be to figure out a way to forgive them, if they’ve wronged you. Forgive yourself, if you’ve wronged them, and try not to repeat your mistakes. Life’s fair if you just let it be. Not to sound like a preachy moron, but it’s true.

• Closure.

Most past relationships often sour because there’s rarely ever any sort of closure. If you’ve decided to part ways, talk about it and do so. If you can’t talk about it immediately, give yourself and your ex space to heal, and then give each other closure. That’s how you end chapters. Clean. Messy endings are hella unsavory.

• Don’t badmouth them in front of your next.

This is where many of us make mistakes. Your new partner doesn’t need to hear you saying mean crap about your ex. Not only do they lose respect, you end up being bitter than ever.

• No rebounds.

This is the worst idea ever. You get into a relationship with someone new even when you don’t love them, and you’re constantly thinking of your ex and stalking them, and at some point there’s going to be this huge ugliness inside of you that won’t go away.

• Be friendly.

If you run into your ex, try to think of the positives. Be friendly if they say hey, but at the same time don’t let them back into your life unless you want to get back together.

Do you have a civil relationship with your ex? Or is it way more bitter than bitter coffee?

16 thoughts on “How to: Stay Civil with The Ex

      1. Forgiving should not be an easy task for those who have done wrong. Moreover, it should not be suggested until they realise and take efforts to correct their mistakes. There should be suffering and pain and punishment for every wrong one does in any possible way is what I personally feel. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Hey, I do try being friendly….but then he starts telling me his problems..and it continues for 2 hours. He cheated on me and now whenever I try replying him back, he starts with the same lines about how much he misses me and wants me back but now I don’t have any feelings for him!!! And y shall I be his friend and solve his problems? I mean who m I? In this case what shall I do?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Talk to him IN person. A hundred percent of the time, the communication goes off when you’re texting. Tell him you’ve moved on. And that he should give you the space you need, if he ever did love you – he will respect that.

      Like

      1. Thanks a lot for replying ! ☺️..
        Actually I have made him understand that I have moved on and there r 0 chances for us to be together again! And he be like , he just wants me to be his friend! But I m not ok with it! I mean I m not comfortable in being “friends” with a person with whom I was in relationship once. For me..once over ..is over! But still he doesn’t understands and keep msging me back! This makes me be rude to him and finally blocking him! Actually Idon’t feel likebeing rude to him…that’s I keepmakinghim u derstand that I havelost all that love…but his habit of repeating things anoys me a lot!
        Anyway…I went through ur blog and I loved it!❤️❤️☺️💝

        Liked by 1 person

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