Malevolence

Malevolence

I was born premature. Pretty much everything in my life that followed happened way before its time. I went to school early, they didn’t like it when I stayed home because I drove my mother crazy, they said. I graduated early. Got a job fresh out of college, earlier than anyone else I went to school with. Had to relocate. Left the nest. Nobody cared. I was young and hot-blooded. Had a string of meaningless relationships, nothing came out of my last fling either.

I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend when she walked into my life. When she did, I wanted her to be my wife. Wanted to give her everything. My blood, my money, my love and it’s funny, because she left too, prematurely.

Not that she died or anything. Oh no, she’s alive and thriving.

I see her everyday. That rock on her finger, with him by her side. She looks radiant, glowing. I stalk her Twitter like Joe Goldberg stalked Beck, I block and unblock her on Instagram because I check her stories and I don’t want her to know. And then block her again. She makes me want to do bad things. She makes me want to hurt her so bad, she loses everything and is left with no choice but to come back to me. Home. I was her home, wasn’t I? She would take all my money and I would let her. When she got engaged to some other guy, she said she had no choice. Her dad is such a freaking p***y he didn’t see his daughter would be the happiest with me. She lied and she manipulated me and she left with some other guy after extorting me as much as she could. And she has the gall to play the victim? It’s ridiculous. I’m the victim. She’s the criminal. It’s all her.

She’s like the black hole: all-consuming and distant. She’s like the thorn that I wish had never pierced my side. I hate her. I hate her. I want her ruined and destroyed and I want him dead and gone. B***h has a freaking child with this joke of a man. How come her dad saw HIM as a worthy match for his stupid, high-maintenance daughter? This guy doesn’t even make money. I make money. She left me. She can’t belong to anyone else. That stupid little hoebag.

One of this days, oh one of these days, I’ll run into her and take her back. I’ll deform her so bad that her man leaves her and takes their kid with them. They say malevolence is ugly, but it’s not its fault. There’s always an uglier backstory.