Ricochet

Ricochet

It’s not your fault. It never was. It’ll never be.

You only fell out of love. The love that never was. The love that I thought you felt for me too, but I was wrong. Pretty much like always. I was just so wrong.

You wanted to be a stud, live your life a little. You weren’t wrong. Everyone has needs, everyone’s got fantasies. I didn’t know you well enough, I suppose, as I went with it. Indulged in all your whims. I was okay with being pushed to the side because I didn’t make the cut on your priority list.

They said it takes no time to recover and be shiny and new again. Trust me, I gave it time, I did. But those wounds, they never seemed to heal. You broke me – no you didn’t break me – I broke myself, believing you as you lied through your teeth. I often sit by myself and dig deep, and try to remember.

I let all the hurt you threw my way just bounce off of me. I thought I just let it all ricochet. But I didn’t see it all coming back hard and thick and fast to burn holes into me, tear at my composure and leave me to bleed out emotionally.

They say you take twenty one days to get over someone, scientifically speaking, but I will never get over what you turned out to be. All I’ll do instead, is be fake happy and tell the whole world I’m fine and just leave it at that. This holiday season, I’m gonna lie.

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